Forces of Nature 004: Anna Kikue Levenson

Growing up in rural northern California, nature was an implicit part of my daily experience. So I didn’t really think about how it made me feel. Now, living in a big city has made me realize this contrast that whenever I am in nature, something inside of me becomes enlivened. I gotta get out and be around something that's bigger than me, bigger than this concrete place that I'm existing in and functioning in.

The COVID-19 pandemic and quarantining inside my tiny Brooklyn apartment drove home for me how important it is to be close to nature. The transformative effect on my mood and just clarity of leaving my apartment and walking around in a park was very profound in a way that I was like, oh damn I should pay attention to this. I have to prioritize being closer to green and being closer to nature, otherwise I don't feel right, like I don't feel whole.

I left New York just recently and came out to California for the first time since before the pandemic. The thing that strikes me the most here is the silence, and then the different kind of ambient noise there is compared to the chaos of the city: listening to cicadas or crickets or birds or tree branches or rustling leaves. Those sounds are deeply moving and nurturing for me. The auditory aspect of being in nature made me think deeply about how I want to structure my life to make sure it's a more intentional part of my day to day world.

There is so much inspiration to be found in nature, from the smallest speck to the sky. You can find inspiration anywhere, but looking through our screens to things which have already been concocted by someone else doesn’t provide the same creative impetus. It’s not as visceral or innate to you as your natural surroundings.

Finding inspiration in nature is such a personal and unique experience, and being able to translate that into designs or whatever your medium is so critical. Because at the end of the day, all of our geometry, all of our functionality is informed by our most basic elements. For example, I had a lot of pieces I was working on for my latest jewelry collection which will feature more amorphous and organic shapes and forms, which I now have a different appreciation for.

In the last 10 years after the Great Recession, I think we, as a culture, have been socialized to follow a very linear path and to equate that to success. And I definitely subscribed to that. Growing up, I thought I wanted to be an international human rights lawyer or civil rights lawyer, but then the reality was, I wasn't ready for law school.

I worked at a corporate law firm in Tokyo right after graduating college and quickly realized that it was not my trajectory. Fast forward a year, I was freelancing doing marketing strategy and research in New York which was great because it was interdisciplinary. Despite liking that job, over the years I realized that I was leaving a lot of untapped creative potential and energy. And this was really damaging to my soul and well-being, as it can be for a lot of creative individuals when that internal creativity is not nurtured or released in some way.

I began looking for a creative release for myself and organically started working with my sister Eda on Lady Fancy Nails. I quit freelancing and it was during this time that I picked up jewelry making as a hobby. Soon after, without me realizing it, that turned into something more.

I'm still working on finding balance running my own business. I'm fundamentally unwilling to compromise and regress into a lifestyle where I am dependent on someone else dictating my day-to-day. I realize that my path has taken immense privilege, and also just foolishness including risky decisions where I’ve just ripped the band-aid off. I hope that people reading this are smarter or more methodical or responsible. But yeah, balance is a daily process.

My mom is from a tiny village in Japan, and my dad grew up in Brooklyn. Somehow, they made their way to this tiny Northern California town during the Back-to-the-Land Movement, which was a hippie movement where people were intentionally seeking out environments or spaces where they could live more holistically and sustainably. My parents are very self-made, in the truest sense, having to do the work of creating something and homesteading. Literally building a house, a workshop, creating a hydroelectric system and solar panel system.

Looking back I can see how that's permeated through my siblings’ and my upbringing. What I mean by this is that we have way more skills than I was conscious of when it comes to craft and resourcefulness - there’s a creativity and resourcefulness that was absolutely passed down. In becoming a jewelry designer, I’ve followed in the creator footsteps of both parents - my dad, who's a traditional Japanese bamboo flute maker, and my mom, who is an incredibly creative and talented seamstress, cook, gardener, business owner, bookkeeper, etc.

In terms of ritual and heritage, there's things that are just innately part of growing up in a family of creators, whether it's conscious or not. I'm constantly asking questions about the tools that my father uses in his flute making, because there's so much crossover in metalsmithing and in working with bamboo and wood. He gave me some of my favorite files. From my mom, I’ve learned a lot about different materials.

What I'm challenging now is first and foremost the kind of existential instability of living. Living in a time of extreme climate change, social unrest and injustice and the unsettling aspects of finding my place, while also contributing something to the world.

And then the second thing is getting out of my own way, so that I can still move forward and share my work. There’s a quote I think about a lot that goes “things of quality have no fear of time.” We put so much pressure on ourselves and there's so much external comparison. But you have to listen to your internal compass. When it comes to perfectionism, I think it's really a challenge of letting things go at a time that is realistic, and that feels good, but it's also not self-debilitating or defeating.

I think it's really hard for me to separate what's happening in the world or in my personal life from my well being with my work. I’m letting things flow in a way of being open, not being so rigid or finite about everything. Sometimes that means relinquishing in order to rest. When we rest, we're not really stopping, we're just regenerating. And that's when our best ideas and things happen. Our self-worth should be tied to waking up and breathing and showing up for the people that are close to us.

I think what’s motivated me the most is meaning-making. Offering something to the world that I feel passionate about, and that I know will impact other people by helping them to feel closer to themselves or more like themselves. Even if it's on an external basis, jewelry is extremely personal. It’s armor, it’s symbolism - it's an immediate way for someone to show the world and to reflect.

The other thing that has motivated me is intentionality in my interactions with people. In implementing this, I’ve been able to interact with people on a more personal level, intimate level, even when I have moments of just wanting to hide myself away from the world.

Watching TV is actually more of a group activity for me. I've been watching the makeup artists competition Glow Up on Netflix and this survival show called Alone. I don't know if you've watched Tiny World on Apple TV, but that's amazing - the documentary voice is by Paul Rudd. It's so wholesome and cute.

I have not been reading physical books as much as I've been listening to audiobooks. Lately, the Ocean Vuong book "On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous." It is a really interesting story and it's beautifully written. I feel it deeply because it’s an Asian American experience that gets shared in a way that's brilliant and impactful.

I really like the invisible sunblock for spending time outdoors, and definitely the facial cleanser too. And I want to try the toner!